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What not to say to a pregnant woman

Pregnancy is a special and strange time.  The body morphs spectacularly to compensate for growing another human. As the womb expands to allow the baby to grow, the body also expands to allow extra blood and fluid volume to keep the pregnancy viable. Internal organs get crowded and squished, but still remain functional.   One thing that has always fascinated me throughout the process is the comments that are made to expectant mothers.  Pregnant women are already dealing with a lot with the changes occurring in their bodies, worrying about the safety and health of their baby, and just trying to get through their day without wetting pants or falling asleep, so they really don’t need to hear some of the goofy things others say.  Here are a few examples of what NOT to say to a pregnant woman (some are personal and some are witnessed with my friends), and how it can translate in the mind.

1. Are you sure you aren’t having twins?

Yes, I am quite sure there are no twins. I have had ultrasounds to confirm. The doctor monitors fetal heart rate every visit to confirm. One baby. One heartbeat.  Are YOU expecting twins?

2. You don’t look like you are going to make it until your due date/you are getting SO big!

Thanks for telling me you think I’m fat.

 

3. You get bigger every week! 

That’s kind of supposed to happen.  I do have a human growing inside of me, after all.

4. Eww why are you eating that?

Because I’m pregnant and I want it. Mind your own **** business – that’s rude.

5. Little boys/girls are awful. 

I’m sorry you’re a bad parent, but maybe if you did things a little differently you wouldn’t talk that way about your own kid.

6. You will have days where you regret having that child. 

After infertility struggle and miscarriage I can assure you I will not regret having my child. Why don’t you go tell your own kid you regret having them and see how well that turns out. Go ahead. I’ll be waiting.

7. You won’t be able to have a natural birth.

How the hell do you know that?  You cannot see into the future. My great-grandmother had a 13 lb baby without drugs and was lucky to even see a doctor during her pregnancy.  If you are talking about my biology, if you aren’t my doctor you really wouldn’t know would you?

8. You should name him/her “fill in the blank” instead.

I’m sorry, this isn’t YOUR child. You have no say so in the matter.

9. Are you crazy? 

My body means my choice at natural delivery, cesarean section, breastfeeding, formula feeding, etc. Besides, with all these hormones I may just be crazy. Do you want me to unleash it and show you?

10. You aren’t very big… you aren’t eating enough/you’re exercising too much.

So which one is it? Am I getting huge or am I not eating? Why is my size any concern of yours anyway?  You aren’t paying the medical bills. You aren’t going to the doctor visits. You aren’t experiencing anything I am experiencing in this pregnancy, and my baby is healthy.  Perhaps you should focus on your own size if mine is such a concern of yours.

 

What are some of the comments made during your pregnancy?

2 thoughts on “What not to say to a pregnant woman

    1. Thank you! Just to clarify, not all of these have been said to me directly. Some of these have been said to people I know during their pregnancies.

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